if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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