i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
