My room smells like vodka and shame
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
