At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
