At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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