I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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