Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.