Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night