Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.

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(781): Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there? (603): Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die. http://tfl.nu/1bcd

Replies (12) Good night (1248) Bad night (517)
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(512): View more from Texas

New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.

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(512): New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville. http://tfl.nu/rzyg

Replies (46) Good night (1202) Bad night (4016)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.

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(307): I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen. http://tfl.nu/qqp8

Replies (8) Good night (3698) Bad night (1458)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.

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(201): Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys. http://tfl.nu/w09r

Replies (8) Good night (1992) Bad night (756)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch

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(919): when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch http://tfl.nu/y99x

Replies (20) Good night (1227) Bad night (3209)
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(772): View more from Florida

A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.

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(772): A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm. http://tfl.nu/ew0u

Replies (3) Good night (988) Bad night (1413)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon

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(859): She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon http://tfl.nu/ch80

Replies (5) Good night (1575) Bad night (574)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.

(540): View more from Virginia

I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.

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(201): I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world. (540): I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him. http://tfl.nu/0ulc

Replies (6) Good night (677) Bad night (1637)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.

(896): View more from

That actually is really sweet of you

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(985): You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia. (896): That actually is really sweet of you http://tfl.nu/0opp

Replies (4) Good night (1136) Bad night (592)
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(616): View more from Michigan

But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"

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(616): But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!" http://tfl.nu/95zk

Replies (10) Good night (2787) Bad night (542)
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(319): View more from Iowa

God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real

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(319): God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real http://tfl.nu/8qp8

Replies (2) Good night (1488) Bad night (352)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...

(862): View more from New Jersey

This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.

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(973): How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow... (862): This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am. http://tfl.nu/nxs7

Replies (0) Good night (1189) Bad night (404)
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(512): View more from Texas

well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?

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(512): well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...? http://tfl.nu/6jqe

Replies (1) Good night (333) Bad night (508)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.

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(937): Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more. http://tfl.nu/fpyx

Replies (1) Good night (379) Bad night (243)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.

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(781): Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it. http://tfl.nu/uzna

Replies (1) Good night (640) Bad night (257)

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