KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
