Ambien. No doubt about it.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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