I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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