WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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