Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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