Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
