the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize