i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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