After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
