I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
