Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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