my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
This house was built for laser tag.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
