HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
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I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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