Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
