I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
