Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
