I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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