She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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