on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
