True but thats because hes a fetus.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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