i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize