Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
