shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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