She's JV to your varsity
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
