I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
