You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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