Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize