"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
