You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
whose parrot is this?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
