I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize