Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
