So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
