4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ketchup is God's man juice
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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