mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
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She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
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He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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