i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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