Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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