Will you blow on my dice?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
