He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My vagina is very pro this idea
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
