the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize