I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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