why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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