just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You made out with two different species that night
It's blow job season.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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