Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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