You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
