Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
