Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
