Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize