I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
