I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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