legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
did you just send me my own nude
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
